The world is in the eye of the beholder

The sun can only ´make´ the flowers blossom, because they are built to do so. They have no choice. But you have a choice, and it is in your own best interest to choose, what makes you feel good.

The sun can only ´make´ the flowers blossom, because they are built to do so. They have no choice. The same applies to you, except that you have a choice in regards to how you want to perceive the flowers or anything else in the world. And it is in your own best interest to choose a perception of the world, that makes you feel good. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When I hear people talk about psychologically problems, they often say things like: »You´re upset, because you did not speak your mind, when somebody said or did something that offended you«. This or similarly sentences are popular ways of justifying feelings, so that they appear to be caused by something outside the sufferer.

If one plus one is not two, then the whole maths system falls apart. In other words: If the foundation is wrong, what is build upon it is also wrong. This is to say, that the above assertion of what is causing psychologically problems is totally wrong and therefore also any solutions built upon that assertion.

It is not what others do, but your perception of it that upsets you
You never get upset, because of what somebody else say or do – or not say or do. You get upset because of the way you choose to perceive, what somebody else say or do – or not say or do. But only if you already have the specific feeling you blame somebody else for causing in you, because you cannot receive something, that you do not already have. Just like the sun can only color your skin in proportion to how much the pigments in it allows you to be touched by it.

It is of course to a certain extent your choice, if you want to have the pigments in your skin touched by the sun or not. Yet how to perceive the color triggered by the sun is solely a choice of yours.

How do you see this dog? You see what you give and you choose, what to give. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

How do you see this dog? You see what you give and it is you who choose what to give. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you love yourself, you will most likely perceive the new skin color as lovely. But if you feel uncertain about yourself, you may perceive faults and missing parts in it, as if something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This perception, however, reveals nothing about the sun but everything about what you suppress in yourself.

The more for example hate is suppressed in yourself, the more the new skin color seems to upset you. And the less you want to face it is your own feeling, the more you will blame the sun for it, regardless it already was present – although suppressed –and has nothing to with the sun but your own self-hatred.

If you want another person to respond in the way that you define as lovingly, you reject what that person really is – basically because you have rejected yourself. And so when you do not get the expected respond, your own feeling of rejection is exposed. Yet you blame somebody else for that instead of acknowledging that the world is in the eye of the beholder.

If you do not love yourself, you cannot give love, because what you do not have you cannot give, neither receive. In other words, what you give is what you receive, so if you see unfriendliness, that is what you give, and therefore what you have and are. To use a very common phrase, the world is in the eye of the beholder.

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin
As love cannot be forced, you cannot choose to love what you appear to be. But you can choose to accept, that you hate it and actively have suppressed that. Doing, so you will see love is set free because hate and love are two sides of the same coin and that the only reason you have not seen the love you have is that you cannot suppress one without the other.

Therefore, when others seem to upset you, be thankful, they may have helped to expose your hatred, and if accepted as yours, you will see you also have its contrast, namely love. In other words, they love you!


NOTE: This article is part of hack #1.3 You cannot change the world, but you can change your perception of it.

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