The comparison of a desire for something with the drawback of getting it is a typical interplay of duality. If you go with the interaction of the opposing elements, you feel complete and, therefore, indifferent to the outcome. Likewise, if something seems wrong. It will be complemented with being right. On the other hand, if you decide to see something as definitely wrong or right, you feel incomplete because everything comes in pairs of opposites in a world of duality. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.
Alexius is still in the process of exploring how to communicate this hack. Hence, you might be better off reading about another one. But you are, of course, welcome to take your chances.
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Notes on the duality flow, Part 1 is an appendix to You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 1-4.
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When your attitude to something is single-minded, you get the pleasure of something specific. But as everything comes in pairs in a world of duality, it will sooner or later be replaced by displeasure. On the other hand, if your approach is dualistic, you right away get the interaction of pleasure and displeasure, which is so fulfilling that you do not feel particularly happy or sad but on a continuous journey going nowhere with the duality flow.
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Being in the duality flow is not about establishing a careful balance but adjusting to the movement between opposites, like when you play yoyo.
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You either breathe in or out. You cannot mix that. One excludes the other. But they also pave the way for each other. This is how the duality flow works.
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In the duality flow, you do not have to choose between good and evil. They compliment each other, so one is not better than the other. Therefore, since the judge inside you is out of work, there is nothing to establish fear as a specific feeling. Hence it is complimented with trust.
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Everything is in constant motion between opposing opponents in the duality flow. As that means nothing lasts, there is no time to fear losing something or not get it at all.
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The duality flow is not harmonious but very dynamic. Yet without highs or lows – like an abstract love affair.
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Being in the duality flow, you can forget everything about what you used to be. That was based on single-minded concepts. Now you are not someone in particular but in the constant movement between opposites.
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That something is ugly is not a fact but the way has decided to perceive it. This singular Interpretation prevents you from seeing it as it is because everything comes in pairs of opposites in a world of duality. In other words, what you see is as beautiful as it is ugly. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.
Since the perception ´it is what it is´ reveals that every experience is twofold and you are in a world of duality, it brings about completeness. However, since everything comes in pairs, it also results in incompleteness. No worries, you actually neither feel whole nor fragmented but in the motion between these opposites. Just like the thrill of a see-saw does not come from being up or down but the constant movement between those opposites.
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Having established ’it is what it is´ as your default perception, you are always in the interaction of opposing emotions and thus feeling completed by the duality flow instead of being unfulfilled by feelings separated from their complementary part. Read more about the perception ´it is what it is´ in hack #4.2 Being a self or no-self.
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The higher you aim, the lower you must be prepared to go because everything comes in pairs of opposing elements in a world of duality. Hence trying to hold onto a specific part makes you frustrated. On the other hand, following the duality flow brings about satisfaction because being in the constant interaction of opposing elements is the natural state of duality. Remember, if you feel low, it will be counteracted with being high – not to become that, though, or to escape feeling down, but to be in low and high interaction.
If you are into being and having the best, the duality flow experience will probably be a continuous movement between the best and the worst. Should you want to be spiritual, the motion is most likely between that and materialistic. The duality flow could also go between hope and hopelessness, or between whatever you hold dear and the opposite of that. Read more about your personal polarity in You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 3.
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What you need to do to drive somewhere comes automatically in the duality flow. Should things not proceed as you expect, you are not afraid of getting upset because you know everything comes in pairs. Thus your anxiety is complemented with unconcern, wherefore the flow of duality goes on. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.
We usually do not think about how to digest the food we eat. It happens by itself. In the duality flow, you do not even have to plan the preparation of a meal.* That may not occur, though, in the systematised way you are used to but in the spontaneous way of nature. It does not plant seeds in rows to get the most in return but enthusiastically throws the seeds everywhere to see what occurs. Nor does it build something in a totalitarian way such as Bauhaus or construct a meal in a categorical style like Nordic. To make long short, it is never definitive.
Therefore, although preparing the dinner is more unpredictable when following the duality flow, you can count on having fun and experiencing something new. That being said, there may be a period of transition where you try to hold onto your old single-minded ways of cooking. When it does not work and thus triggers old feelings of despair, you are about to cry.
The solution is not to stop the discomfort but to stand by it, so the definitive meaning you have decided it has can be perceived as ´it is what it is,´ and thus revealed not to be singular but dualistic. Twofoldness is what makes you feel complete in a world of duality. Eventually, so wholly that you fully see, you are nothing but appearance. Hence there does not seem to be something to hide that which cannot be seen, namely non-duality.
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The satisfaction you get from being in the duality flow has nothing to do with the satisfaction you get from something specific. In the latter case, you are always afraid of losing what makes you satisfied, whereas you can never lose the duality flow.
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Since everything comes in pairs in a world of duality, there is no sense in searching for something specific. That is such a relief.
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If you want the satisfaction of the duality flow, it is essential not to focus on anything in particular. The same applies if you like to undo the belief in duality. Therefore, since the perception ´it is what it is´ cancels out anything specific, you kill two birds with one stone by applying it.
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None of the opposing elements in the duality flow is essential. It is their interaction with each other that matters because it makes up the duality flow. You will want to follow it when you are tired of feeling incomplete. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.
When you feel you have nowhere to go and do not insist on that being definitive but counteract it with going everywhere, you are in the duality flow. The same applies if you are in the interplay of irritation and relaxation. The duality flow is not about the opposing elements in a pair of duality but their interaction. That is what makes it satisfying – just like it is the interplay of breathing in and out that makes you feel good. This interchange is also what makes breathing goes on.
In other words, since none of the opposing elements in the pairs of duality can go on by themselves, you cannot always feel positive. It needs to be contrasted by negativity. So if you are not in the constant interplay of positivity and negativity, what you believe in feeling when you claim always to be positive is a concept conjured up via speculations based on the suppression of negativity, for example via meditation. Doing that is like separating yourself from either breathing in or out. You need them both.
To make long short, the solution to everything, in a world of duality, is to go with the flow of the opposing elements which make up the pairs of duality. You hook up with the duality flow by perceiving your interpretation of something as ´it is what it is.´
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Importance is a single-minded notion that has been separated from its buddy, worthlessness, wherefore it brings about loneliness. But in the duality flow, importance interacts with worthlessness, so you feel together.
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Following the duality flow, the specific state of mind you have been used to conjure up to feel at ease is forever out of reach. Now everything is twofold. Sadness interacts with gladness and death with life. What this means, you do not know. Nor do you care because you are supported by the duality flow. That is not your doing so you feel at ease without working for it. That is, if you acknowledge, feeling relaxed is complemented by being insecure. Accepting this polarity, you see the opposite sides support each other by defining one another.
This togetherness is the flow of duality. Being in it, you feel complete. Hence there is no need for a specific state of mind or perspective to escape feeling disturbed.
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To justify our hatred, we often deceive ourselves into interpreting something as definitely vicious. But perceiving our interpretation as ´it is what it is,´ we see that viciousness is complemented by gentleness. They define each other, just like hate defines kindness, and you, therefore, only can be genuinely kind when your hatred is acknowledged. Going along with the constant interaction of opposites, you are in the duality flow. This is as good as it gets in a world of duality. Since that means the need for more fades out, you, eventually, the need for duality fades out. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.
When you get angry, you say, »So what! Everything comes in pairs of opposites that define each other. That is the way of duality. Therefore, I soon feel cool.« Hence there is no need for forgiveness or something else to not feel bad.
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In the duality flow, you feel complete, so although you may seem just as clumsy as before, it does not make you feel wrong.
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Going with the duality flow, hate does not make you frown but smile :)
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If you succeed in letting go of your hatred, you also get rid of the ability to feel love because, in a world of duality, everything comes in pairs of opposing elements that define each other. Hate defines love and vice versa, so you cannot have one without the other.
To get back the love you ignorantly discarded, you perceive the hate you see in others as ´it is what it is.´ That reveals their hate is coupled with love. Therefore, since you can only perceive others to have what you have, you also have love and hate. Read here about seeing your repressed emotions in others.
This revelation brings about other dualistic experiences, which generate even more. Actually, so many that you, eventually, forget to define yourself and others as somebody at all. Getting there is a process,** but not being defined as someone in a dualistic world is instant, as there is nothing in between duality and non-duality. Actually, there is no duality since non-duality is formless and therefore endless.
Fortunately, there is nothing to hide this, when you are not defined as someone in a world of duality.
*) This is not to say that you never need to think ahead to get something done. But that thoughts regarding that come to you automatically when you are in the flow of duality.
**) This process is not about avoiding the word ´I´ or stopping something else but gradually realising that the experience of being someone is fake – just like you do not avoid the cars or stop making money in Monopoly, although nothing there is real.
NOTES:
- There are more notes on the duality flow in the following article.
- This article is part of hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality. It is a rough draft that will be continuously updated.
