(ROG) + The special self wants to be in control of thoughts, whereas the basic self wants nothing but to serve them

The special self always listens to the voice whispering ´there must be more.´ That is why nothing seems to be good enough. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The basic self does not understand, that the special self always needs to be affirmed by somebody else. It has no such need itself because it is always vouched for by its maker, the brain, for following its instructions.

That is why it does not know, that confirmation is all the special self cares about and that it only chooses to be in relationships if it can lay down its rules, which first of all is that everything said and done by others should be an approval of how special it is.

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Although the special self never causes anything, it fools itself into believing that it does by rewriting past events, so it seems to have caused them.

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The special self needs to believe, that it can make things happen through manipulation of thoughts – for example by visualising them – as that makes it looks like it is in control of its own life.

But it is like thinking the TV show you turn on by hitting the remote control is made by you. Someone else has made the show, and the only thing you can change is your perception of it, which is the way the basic self seems to have been changed into a special self.

But even though the special self believes it is in charge of its own being, it does not feel alive. So it keeps on looking for somebody or something to make it feel that it exist. Most choose to establish a family, that they can manipulate into give them the confirmation they need. If this does not work out as intended it often pays money to a psychologist or a guru, for example, to approve it as a unique and independent being. Never does it realise how dependent it is on those supporting its independence.

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The basic self is all about the survival as someone definitive, whereas the basic self is all about serving. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The special self is all about survival, whereas the basic self is all about serving.

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As the basic self follows the thoughts that are experienced to come from inside of it and to manifest a world outside of it, the experience of inside and outside is not perceived to make a difference.

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When the special self blames the basic self for being a victim of the brain, it is projecting its own need for the brain on the basic self because the special self fights the brain, and what you fight you need. The basic self does not fight but serves the brain, that does not differentiate between its servant and itself, because the purpose of its mastery of the self is to serve it in the best possible way. Just like a parent wants to do what is in the best interest for its child.

The special self twists everything into a story, where it is not a servant but a master.

But since the special self does not want to be a servant, it manipulates the thoughts coming from the brain into a story where it appears to be a master.

The special self likes be together with others, but on one condition, namely that others accept the stories it makes up, so that they shape the relationship.

The shaping of thoughts into this story can be quite nerve-racking, so the special self always looks forward to being free from thoughts, whereas the basic self feels free in the unedited flow of them.

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The basic self has no need to adjust thoughts, so they comply with special concepts of how to be together in harmony, balance and whatnot because it is in sync with the flow of thoughts coming from the brain. And as everything in a world where there seems to be more than one is in that flow, it is always together with everything. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When Alexius, whose basic self is a store-room manager – read more about that here – is travelling he automatically registers the things passing by so he can add them to the map already made in his brain of the area. In other words, his joy does not come watching the beauty of the scenery he is travelling through but from being in sync with his basic nature, which is to organise what he sees.

The special self sees this as something that should be stopped so that there is no thoughts of the past and the future to disturb it from living in the now and thus to enjoy the beauty of the scenery passing by. This is its official explanation, but the real reason for stopping thoughts is to hold them back because in their attempt to escape they multiply. And the special self needs more thoughts than those the brain produces for the basic self so it can construct its own concepts of living in the now, coming from the heart and whatnot.

It does not want all of the thoughts though. Those judged to be wrong, which in this case are thoughts of ugliness, it excludes, so it seems to be in the beauty of the now. But as nothing can be experienced without its contrast, there is no beauty without ugliness, so the thoughts judged to be ugly keep coming back. Hence there is a constant fight between good and evil, and it is not joy but confusion that arises from that.

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The special self is always trying to exclude what it judges to be negative, expecting that it will be more loved when it is positive. It is not positivity, though, but exclusivity that it is adored for, as that seems to confirm separation and therefore all the special selves as independent beings.

Some of these special selves, however, perceive themselves to be more special than others, so they form groups that are fighting each other about what is wrong. But not very often do they have an alternative to what they judge as wrong. It is more critical for them to have a common enemy because that gives them a feeling of being united with the group without having to give up the belief in separation because that is kept alive through their shared hatred of the enemy.

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To define something as small, there must also be something tall. The special self, however, always tries to exclude one side of a contrast. It wants love but not hate and positivity but not negativity, for example. Thus the special self excludes hate and negativity from itself by projecting it on others. But as you cannot have one side of a contrast without the other, the avoidance of one of them includes its contrast. In other words, if you exclude hate, you also exclude love, so the love you believe to have is purely speculative. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When the consciousness of the basic self goes rogue, it starts manipulating the stream of thoughts that it receives from the brain, so it seems that by meditating or using other techniques to control thoughts, it will become independent of the brain and thus in charge of its own life.

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The function of the brain is to create thoughts which entertain the self that it has fabricated, so if the thoughts coming from it do not seem to please but frustrate the self, its consciousness most likely has altered the thoughts, so they comply with the concepts of spiritualism, capitalism or another ism meant to make the self feel it belongs to something beyond than the reality of the brain.

But since the manipulation of thoughts into a specific system imprison them, it is not amusement but misery they bring about. Nor do they bring the peace your special ism promises but stress and confusion because, in an attempt to get around your control, they multiply and move faster and faster.

No worries, if you do not try to stop or alter the thoughts coming from the brain, it generates no more than the few needed to keep you happy.

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Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

To uphold the image of itself as a positive person, the special self avoids feeling what it judges as negative by burying it in the body. And to make sure nobody sees what it has hidden there – for example, sexual lust, power strivings, selfishness, greed, envy, anger and rage – the special self projects it onto the world.

But since positivity cannot be defined without its contrast, negativity, and vice versa, the suppression of negative emotions conceals the positive ones as well. In other words, the positive self-concept is a self-deception.

Willingness to feel the emotions that seem to scare us reveals that they are not something but nothing. Just like the scary sounds, you hear behind you while walking home on an empty street, turns out to be nothing, when you look back and see, the sounds come from the wind playing with the leaves.

When you try to get rid of a feeling, your fear of it expands. If it, on the other hand, is entirely felt by completely being it, there is not something to contrast it and thus nothing to define you as someone definitive experiencing a specific emotion. Though that means there is nobody to notice this, there may be a sense of a change. Those relationships that were based on the emotion that is now forgotten have no appeal anymore.

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Contrary to the basic self, whose appearance changes with the natural flow of thoughts coming from the brain, the special self manipulates this flow so that it seems to turn into specific emotions that define it in the way it wants to be.

To enforce this, the special self talks much about these emotions and set up its surroundings to imitate them via music, candles, incense and red wine, for example. But it never feels them. It is afraid, the construction of thoughts that makes them appear to be there will fall apart if it touches them. But most of all it is worried, what it will feel is not the special self it has fabricated.

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A dream only seems real, if you believe to be someone definitive doing something specific in its world. The same applies to your appearance as someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. It is make-believe. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you try to solve absent-mindedness by mindfulness meditation or grounding exercises, the problem is not solved but enhanced, because you do not know how to take care of yourself. But your maker does, and as that is the brain, the solution is to hook up with the stream of thoughts coming from it, instead of using meditation to distance yourself from it. Read more about that here.

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The special self feels that it is not really seen or heard for what it is, but neither does it want to, as that would expose it is fictional. This is not to say that the basic self is more real. Everything experienced is a game in which you appear to be what you are not. That is so much fun when you follow the primary rule of the gamemaster, which is to be a basic self serving the flow of thoughts as they come from the gamemaster.

You do not even have to care about returning to that which is real, namely the formlessness of oneness, because the gamemaster knows that being in its game is all make-believe.

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No matter what you experience to be in a dream you appear to have, it is make-believe. And so is the appearance of you as someone in a world where there seems to be more than one because there is no more than that which is one since it is formless and therefore endless. In other words, as it takes more than one to experience something, any experience is an illusion.

The brain is the sum of your most defining memories and since they constitute the self you believe to be – read more about that here – you cannot have this belief undone without honouring the brain.

That being said, you should not dismiss your experiences. On the contrary. They ratify your choice of believing to be someone in a world where there seems to be more than one, and if you do not honour this choice, you cannot undo it.

The undoing of it, however, does not come from doing or not doing something specific, nor from stopping thoughts, as doing so is within the realm of the belief that there is more than that which is one.

The undoing comes from the willingness to remain in the nothingness, that the brain continuously renders into a world where there seems to be more than one. As it takes the brain one second to fabricate a conscious experience of this, the brain has still not translated the present moment of nothing into something experienced by someone, if you remain one second behind. Read more about that here.

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There is no meaning to be found in a world where there seems to be more than one, nor anywhere else, because it takes more than one to find something, and there is no more than that which is one since it is formless and therefore endless.


NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.2 The basic self versus the special one, which is still in the process of being written.