NZR + The special self wants to be in control of thoughts, whereas the basic self wants nothing but to serve them [under development]

The special self always listen to the voice whispering ´there is something more´, so nothing seems to be good enough. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The basic self does not understand, why the special self always needs to be engaged with somebody, but that is because being connected with the brain the basic self has no special view of itself that needs to be affirmed.

According to the special self, the world does not belong to the brain but to itself.

Thus it does not know, that this is all the special self cares about and that it only chooses to be in relationships where it lays down the rules, which first of all is that everything said and done should be a confirmation of its specialness.

The special self likes to think, that it can make things happen through manipulation of thoughts – for example by visualising them – as that makes it looks like it is in control of its own life.

But it is like thinking you are the cause of a TV show you watch because you hit the remote control to start it. The show is made by someone else and there is nothing you can change about it except how you perceive it, which is the way the basic self seems to have evolved from a basic to a special self, namely by changing its perception of who it is.

But even though the special self believes that it is better than before, it does not know what it is. That is why it constantly looks for somebody who can prove its existence. But as the basic self and the empty breath disapprove its existence, the special self looks for someone just as delusional as itself to approve its existence.

The special self is all about approval and who can help it gaining that.

And it gladly pays a lot of money to a psychologist or a guru for being approved as a unique and independent being, without realising how it is dependent on those approving it. Most, however, choose to have a family, that they manipulate into approving them.

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The basic self is all about the survival as someone definitive, whereas the basic self is all about serving. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The special self is all about survival, whereas the basic self is all about being at service.

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As the basic self follows the thoughts that are experienced to come from inside but also to manifest a world outside of it, the experience of inside and outside is not perceived to make a difference.

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In the eyes of the special self, the basic self is a victim of the brain. Yet it is the other way around. The special self fights the brain, and what you fight you need. The basic self, on the other hand, does not fight but serves the brain, which does perceive the servant to be different from it, as the purpose of its mastery is to serve the self – inclusive the special one.

The special self twists everything into a story, where it is not a servant but a master.

But since the special self wants to be a master and not a servant, it manipulates the thoughts coming from the brain into a story where it appears to be independent of the brain and in control of its own life.

The special self likes be together with others, but on one condition only, namely that others accept the stories it makes up, so that it is the language of the special self that shapes the friendship.

Since the shaping of thoughts into a story where the special self is on its own can be quite nerve-racking, the special self always looks forward to being free from thoughts, whereas the basic self feels free in the unedited flow of them.

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The basic self has no need to adjust thoughts, so they comply with the concepts the special self has of how to be together, in harmony, balance, in the now and whatnot, because it is in sync with the flow of thoughts provided by the brain and as everything in a world where there seems to be more than one is in that flow, it is happily together with everything regardless of speculative concepts of how to be that. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

When Alexius, whose basic self is a store-room manager, is travelling he automatically registers the things passing by adding them to the map already made in his brain of this area. In other words, his joy does not come watching the beauty of the scenery he is travelling through but from being in sync with his basic nature, which is to organise it.

The special self sees this as something that should be stopped so that there is no thoughts of the past and the future to disturb them from living in the now and thus to enjoy the beauty of the scenery passing by. This is its official explanation, but the actual reason for stopping thoughts is to imprison them, because in an attempt to escape they multiply, and the special self needs much more thoughts than those the brain produces for the basic self in order to construct its own concepts of living in the now, coming from the heart and whatnot.

It does not want all of the thoughts though. Those judged to be wrong, which in this case are thoughts of ugliness, it excludes so it can keep together its concept of beauty in the now. But as nothing can be experienced without its contrast, there is no beauty without ugliness, so the thoughts judged to be wrong keep coming back. Hence there is a constant fight between good and bad and it is not joy but confusion that arises from that.

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The special self is always trying to exclude what it judges to be negative in the expectation it will be more liked when it is positive. It is not positivity, though, but exclusivity that it is liked for, as that seems to confirm separation and therefore the special selves to be independent beings.

As some perceive themselves to be more special than others, they form groups fighting each other about what is wrong. Not very often though do they have an alternative to what they judge as wrong. This is not so important to them. It is more important to have a common enemy because this gives them a feeling of being united with the group without having to give up the belief in separation, as that is kept alive through their common hatred of the enemy.

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To define something as small there must also be something tall. Yet the special self always tries to exclude one side of a contrast. It wants love but not hate and positivity but not negativity, for example. Thus the special self project hates and negativity on others. But as you cannot have one without the other, the avoidance of something includes its contrast. In other words, if you exclude hate, you also exclude love, so the love you believe to have is purely speculative.

When the consciousness of the self goes rogue, it starts manipulating the stream of thoughts it receives from the brain, so it seems that if the self meditates or use other techniques to control thoughts, it will become independent of the brain and thus in charge of its own life.

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If you want ice cream the brain will support you with thoughts of that, but if they are judged to be politically incorrect they may be refused instead of amused.

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The function of the brain is to create thoughts that entertain the self it has fabricated, so if the thoughts coming from the brain to the self does not seem to please but frustrate it, the consciousness of the self has used concepts of spiritualism, capitalism or another ism to break free from the brain.

These speculative concepts, however, work against the natural order of the world fabricated by the brain, so it does not support the self with thoughts backing up its new identity, wherefore the new and independent self tries to stop or change the thoughts coming from the brain.

Unfortunately the more you try to stop the activity of the brain, the more thoughts it will produce, which many people probably have noticed happens when they try to stop thoughts through for example meditation. And the more you do not like the thoughts coming from the brain the more it will generate in the hope that there are others you will like.

But if you are satisfied with what you get, so is the brain, wherefore it does not have a need to generate more thoughts than those keeping you satisfied. It may even feel so appreciated, that it does not mind stepping aside so the appearance of you as something does not hide the bliss of nothing. Read more about that in hack #4.5 ´The empty breath´ and the bliss of not believing to be someone.

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To uphold the image of itself as a positive person, the special self avoids feeling what it judges to be negative by burying it in the body. And to make certain nobody sees what it has hidden in its body – for example, sexual lust, power strivings, selfishness, greed, envy, anger and rage – the special self projects it onto the world.

In a world of duality, nothing is definitive. Everything is relative. This does not apply to non-duality though, because only in duality can you appear to be something.

But since positivity cannot be defined without negativity and vice versa, the suppression of negative emotions conceals the positive ones as well. In other words, the positive self-concept – just like any other concept built on exclusion – is an illusion.

Willingness to feel the emotions that seem to scare us reveal them as nothing. To be scared of them is like being put off by the noises you hear from behind you while walking on an empty street. When you turn around and look, you see it is nothing but the wind that rustles the leaves on the street.

When you try to get rid of a feeling, your fear of it expands. If it, on the other hand, is totally felt by completely being it, there is not something to contrast it and thus nothing to define you as someone definitive experiencing a specific emotion. Though there is nobody to notice this, there may be a sense of a change. Those relationships that were based on the emotion that is now unknown have no appeal anymore.

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Contrary to the basic self, whose definition changes with the natural flow of thoughts coming from the brain, the special self manipulates this flow so that it seems to turn into specific emotions that define it in the exact way it has planned.

To enforce the construction of thoughts making up the emotions that seem to define its uniqueness, the special self talks much about them and conjure up atmospheres that imitate them via the use of music, candles and red wine, for example. Yet it never really feels them. It is afraid that the construction of thoughts that makes them appear to be there will fall apart if it touches them. But most of all it is afraid that what it is gonna feel is not the self it has made.

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In a dream, you always appear to be doing something or being with somebody, as otherwise, you would not appear to be there. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you try to solve absent-mindedness by mindfulness meditation or grounding exercises the problem is not solved but enhanced, because you do not know how to take care of yourself. But your maker does, and as that is the brain, the solution is to hook up with the stream of thoughts coming from it, instead of trying to stop or change it.

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The special self feels that nobody really see or hear what it is, but neither does it want to, because that would expose itself as fictional. This is not to say that the basic self is more real. Everything experienced is a game in which you have assumed to be what you are not. This is so much fun when you follow the main rule of the gamemaster, which is to be a basic self serving the flow of thoughts as they come from the gamemaster.

You do not even have to care about returning to that which is you, namely the formlessness of oneness because the gamemaster knows that being in its game is all make-believe.

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No matter what you experience to be in a dream you appear to have, it is make-believe. And so is the appearance of you as someone in a world where there seems to be more than one because there is no more than that which is one since it is formless and therefore endless. In other words, as it takes more than one to experience anything, any experience is an illusion.

The brain is the sum of your most defining memories and since they constitute the self you believe to be – read more about that here – you cannot have this belief undone without honouring the brain.

That being said, you should not dismiss your experiences. On the contrary. They ratify your choice of believing to be someone in a world where there seems to be more than one, and if you do not honour that choice you cannot undo it.

The undoing of it, however, does not come from doing or not doing something specific, nor from stopping thoughts, as doing so is within the realm of the belief that there is more than that which is one.

The undoing comes from the willingness to remain in the nothingness that the brain continuously renders as a world where there seems to be more than one. As it takes the brain one second to fabricate a conscious experience of this, every experience you believe to have is one second old, so if you are willing to not have this experience and thus remain one second behind, the brain has still not translated the present moment of nothing into something experienced by someone.

Read more about that in Where to find the bliss of ´the empty breath´.

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There is no meaning to be found in a world where there seems to be more than one, nor anywhere else, because it takes more than one to find something and there is no more than that which is one since it is formless and therefore endless.


NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.3 The basic self versus the special one.