(META) ++ To be depressed or blissed [draft]

It is essential for the special self to make selected ones feel special so that they become dependent on the special self to feel unique.

Not too many thoughts are needed to uphold the basic self that you automatically are when being in sync with thoughts the brain produces for you to feel happy. But if this happiness is perceived to be cheap, you probably suspect those thoughts to be hiding something. The idea of finding it seems to multiply the few thoughts the brain needs to uphold the basic self and you need a lot more to make up a story where you appear to have found something that makes you special (read more about that here).

No thoughts at all are needed to be in the transparent bliss of nothingness. This does not mean that there are no thoughts, but that there is nobody to respond to them when connected with the empty breath,* for example, as that brings you in a state of not knowing.

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The special self is always looking for something to make right so that it does not feel wrong.

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The special self is a modified version of the basic one invented by its rebellious consciousness in an attempt to liberate the self from the brain. This is not possible but it is possible to put together a perception of the self as if it is an independent being. That is why it is always working on perfecting its perception by excluding everything judged as wrong.

As happiness comes from being inclusive, the exclusion of negative thoughts or anything else does not bring about happiness but sadness. And no matter what special diet or philosophies you follow to solve this, nothing is solved until what has been excluded is included.

But happiness does not come from being exclusive, so the special self never feels fulfilled. The basic self, on the other hand, always feels complete, because it never excludes anything.

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The special self needs to convince at least one person about how crucial it is, which it achieves by smothering someone with the kind of attention it senses, that is required to make that person feel chosen. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

»But if a work is done because it should be done and it is enjoyed without thoughts for great benefits that is goodness.« Bhagavad Gita.

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Since the basic self is in sync with the stream of thoughts as they come from the brain and therefore automatically is induced with shots of happiness, it has no need to be or achieve something special to feel good. The special self, on the other hand, always tries to find special moments of its past that it can replicate in the present, so it feels familiar with it.

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The special self always finds thoughts and feelings, that it judges to be wrong and caused by somebody else, so others become the imperfect background for its perfect self.

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Though nothing in a dream is planned by anybody, everything goes according to plan. There is nothing you can change about that except your perception of it.

In other words, though you do not have any control over the events in a dream that you appear to have, it is you who decide if you want it to frighten you or not. Likewise when you seem to be somebody substantial in a tangible world.

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Again and again, the special self likes to show off as it has extraordinary experiences and invaluable insights that it always uses to help those it judges to have less, so the world is going to be a better place. But it is just a trick to cover up, that all it wants is to control others so the world can be changed into something that suits its own needs. Since this is no more possible than to be in control of the world in a dream, the special self pieces together an interpretation of the world, which in retrospect seems to fool itself into believing that everything revolves around it.

The special self wants to make others believe, it has something special that can help them, so they will not be lost but in control of their life and thus able to mould it in such a way that everything they deserve will come to them.

Though it may not be able to manipulate a lot into believing that this is so, it often succeeds in shaping at least one person into accepting it by making this person feels so wanted and loved, that it thinks it cannot live without the one making it feels so special.

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The special self likes to hide its loneliness by making somebody dependent upon it. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The story of the world is continuously being rewritten by the special self so that it seems to know what is going on and therefore also what everybody is doing and why.

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The special self needs alcohol, drugs meditation or something else mind-numbing to escape the fear of repercussion that its control entails.

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If the special self discovers that others have interpreted something it did as wrong, it avoids feeling bad by shouting »Look what you made me do.«

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The real motive for all the stories the special self makes to appear as if it is better than others is to conceal that it does not feel this way. On the contrary, it feels inferior, and to escape that, it makes up stories in which it appears to be superior, and everybody else secondary.

Still, any emotion popping up might trigger the feeling of inferiority, but the special self fixes this by suppressing all its emotions and blaming others for the insensitivity it entails.

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First Alexius thought he was afraid because his father was an angry man who beat him in his childhood. Next, he thought, it was himself that he was scared of being wrong. Then he stopped looking for a cause. And as there is no effect without a cause, there is no fear anymore. Read more about cause and effect in the hack No Cause = No Effect = No Karma, which you can find in Extra Duality hacks.

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When not perceiving what you appear to be and do as if it is something, you are nobody doing nothing and thus not somebody who is hiding, there is no more than the formlessness of oneness.

If the special self takes an interest in so-called spirituality, it has to be something with techniques for how to relax, because the special self is always busy trying to be and have more.

Being busy though does not have to be a problem, because when stress is not controlled, it ignites a take-off to the empty breath* and its bliss of not-knowing* what and where you are.

But as the way the special self perceives itself is built upon knowing as much as possible, it rejects what really would make it relax, namely to not know what it is.

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In a state of not-knowing, you are nobody.* This you cannot want because it takes somebody to want something. But you can want not to be somebody.

Not being somebody, there is nobody to respond to the thoughts coming from the brain, which falls into a coma, if it is not in an internal feedback loop with somebody for more than 20 minutes, 45 at the most. Thus the wish to go around as nobody is as illusionary as living in the now, for example, and thus just another way of appearing to be more special than others.

That being said, when you return to a state of not-knowing* your slate has been wiped clean for all the perceptions that are out of sync with the script of the brain, so you return as the basic self.

Should you again become out of sync with the script of the brain, you can use the frustration this entails igniting another take-off the empty breath* and its blissful state of not knowing and again return with the slate wiped clean.

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Most like to believe, that the thoughts produced by the brain are evil and of the ego. Yet they are not of something but nothing, because that is what every thought fabricated by the brain is made from. It is trying to stop or edit them that is of the ego because doing so they seem to turn into something that makes a difference. Thus the belief in separation is enhanced, and since the ego, which thrives from separation, it loves those who treat thoughts as if they are something and not just a binary code of nothing.

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The connectedness with the empty breath* is like sinking into water and float in the nothingness of bliss.

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In a state of not-knowing,* there is no sense of separation, nor of a union, as that is a concept based on the belief in separation. There is simply nothing but the bliss of not judging the apparent differences to make a difference. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Not perceiving yourself as special, you feel free and feathery since nothing has to be altered or rejected to fit a particular image, contrary to seeing yourself as special. It feels heavy and tiresome because it takes so much time and effort to invent a special image from which selected experiences are eliminated or changed so you appear to not have sexual desires, negative thoughts or whatever you assume is politically incorrect.

Even though the special self, therefore, often feel it does not have enough energy to keep up, there is plenty of it. Due to its strong self control, however, it is repressed. Even though the special self would like to release the energy, it holds back because it is afraid, it will be devoured the moment it loses its control.

And it is right on this point because the uncontrolled energy of suppressed feelings ignites a take-off to the empty breath*And since that leads to a state of not-knowing,* where there is nobody to be special or conscious of anything, the self disappears into the nothingness from where it seemed to have arisen. Thus all that is left is the bliss of emptiness.

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Entering a state of not-knowing* is like falling down into the body. But not in the sense that you become more physical or integrate something. You do not become more of anything, nor do you integrate anything, because falling down in the body you realise the experience of it is like a mirage made from out of nothing, and so is one that seems to be in control of it. In other words, in a state of not-knowing* nothing is changed, except there is not somebody to believe, that appearing as someone substantial in a tangible world is real.

This does not mean, it is not experienced anymore, but that there is nobody to judge the apparent differences in the experience to make a difference. Hence there is no sense of separation or union since that is a concept founded on the belief in separation. Nor is there is anybody to know the bliss of nothingness before there again is a conscious experience of being somebody and vague memories pop up of how blissful it is being indifferent to that is.

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It is not possible to return to that which is one. Nor is it possible to leave it, because it is formless and therefore endless.

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A state of not-knowing* is not revealing that which is one, but that a world where there seems to be more than one is nothing. The result of that revelation is not that you choose to return to that which is one because that requires more than one. Instead, it results in you deciding not to choose, and since not choosing does not call for more than one, the enlightenment of that which is one is bid welcome. See hack #5-7.1 From the inner senses through a black hole into that which is one.

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The application of one or more of the duality hacks does not produce anything but the bliss of nothingness. That is if you do not catch on to something specific, because something definable always brings about depression.

Since it takes more than one to be in any state, the above does not apply to the enlightenment of that which is one (see hack #5-7.1 From the inner senses through a black hole into that which is one). It does not entail bliss or anything else as that requires more than one.


*) Read about the empty breath and a state of not-knowing in the below hacks


NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.2 The basic self versus the special one, which is still in the process of being written.