To be depressed or blissed [draft]

It is essential for the special self to make selected ones feel unique so that they become dependent on the special self to feel this.

Since joy comes from being inclusive, the exclusion of negative thoughts or anything else does not bring about happiness but sadness. And no matter what special diet or philosophy you follow to solve this, nothing is resolved until what has been excluded is included.

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The special self is a modified version of the basic self that its rebellious consciousness has invented in an attempt to be liberated from the perceived tyranny of the brain. It is not possible, however, to change the self. But it is possible to construct a perception that excludes all experiences of not being in control, so you seem to be a special self who always does things in its own way and pace.

Being exclusive, however, does not bring about fulfilment, so the special self never feels satisfied, whereas the basic self always feels complete, because it never excludes anything.

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The basic self is in sync with the stream of thoughts as they come from the brain and therefore automatically is induced with shots of happiness, so it has no need to be or achieve something special to feel good. The special self, on the other hand, always tries to find special moments from its past to replicate in the present to make it feel that it is still special.

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The special self always finds something about others that it judges to be wrong. Hence they become the imperfect background for its perfect self.

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When the special self perceives to have failed, it takes on the role of being secondary. Thus the failure does not seem to have been caused by itself but somebody else.

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The special self needs to convince at least one person about how crucial it is, which it achieves by smothering someone with the kind of attention it senses, that is required to make that person feel chosen. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

If you make a perception of specific parts in the experiences produced by the brain that seems to capture, stop or change them, your perception becomes sticky and you, therefore, inflexible.

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Nothing in a dream can be changed by the dreamer, but the perception of it. So though you do not have any control over the events in a dream that you appear to have, it is you who decide to perceive them as frightening, for example, so that fear seems to be a sticky and not just a fleeting feeling. Likewise, when you experience to be someone substantial in a tangible world.

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The special self wants to make others believe, it has something rare that will help them get closer to their core, from where they can control life and mould it in a way that makes them feel fulfilled. But the life you experience in a world where there seems to be more than one is no more controllable than the life you experience in the world of a dream, and just like in a dream, there is nobody in a world where there seems to be more than one because it takes more than one to somewhere and there is no more than that which is one.

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Again and again, the special self likes to show off as if it has invaluable insights from extraordinary experiences that can help those it judges not to have what it has. But it is just a trick to cover up, that it wants to be in control so it can change others into something that serves its needs. Since this is no more possible than to be in control of those in the world of a dream, the special self pieces together an interpretation of its interaction with others, that in retrospect establishes itself as someone who has helped them to become better.

Though it may not be able to manipulate a lot into believing that this is so, it often succeeds in shaping at least one person into accepting it by making this person feels so wanted and loved, that it thinks it cannot live without the one making it feels so unique.

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The special self likes to hide its loneliness by making somebody dependent upon it. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

The special self needs alcohol, drugs meditation or something else mind-numbing to escape the fear of repercussion that its control entails.

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If the special self discovers that others have interpreted something it did as wrong, it avoids feeling guilty by shouting »Look what you made me do.«

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First, Alexius thought his fear was caused by his father, who often burst out in anger and beat him in his childhood. Next, he thought he caused it himself because he was so afraid of not being good enough. Then he stopped looking for a cause. And as there is no effect without a cause, there is no fear anymore. Read more about cause and effect in the hack No Cause = No Effect = No Karma, which you can find in Extra Duality Hacks.

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Most like to believe that the thoughts produced by the brain are evil. But it is the attempt to edit them that is evil. If a single thought is sought out from the stream of thoughts, it generates a new stream, and if a specific thought is singled out from that, yet another stream is made, and so on. Just like if you split a neutron from an atom nucleus, it sends out more neutrons all by itself, that split and sends out more neutrons. It is a chain reaction.

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As the self-perception of the special self is built upon knowing what it is, it rejects what would make it relax, namely the bliss that comes from a state of not-knowing. Instead, it looks for a solution that is promised to work in steps, so it can remain in control.

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When not perceiving what you appear to be and do as if it is something, you are nobody doing nothing and thus not somebody who is hiding, there is no more than the formlessness of oneness.

If you want to enter a state of not-knowing* you fend it off because in this state you are nobody and only as be somebody can you want something. But you can, of course, wish not to be somebody.

Not being somebody, there is nobody to respond to the thoughts coming from the brain, which falls into a coma, if it does not have an internal communication with somebody for more than 20 minutes, 45 at the most. Thus the wish to continuously go around as nobody is as foolish as to be living in the now, for example, and thus just another way some imagines they can be more special than others.

That being said, when you return from a state of not-knowing* your slate has been wiped clean for all misperceptions so new ones automatically are in sync with the script of the brain until you make an effort to change this. In other words, you return as the basic self and remain effortlessly like that until you make an effort to be special.

Perceiving yourself to be special, you are out of sync with the script of the brain. But if you do not edit the frustration that this entails it will ignite ar take-off the empty breath* and its blissful state of not knowing, so you again return to the consciousness of being someone with the slate wiped clean and thus feel renewed as the basic self.

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Being connected with the empty breath* feels like sinking into water and float in the nothingness of bliss. See also What does ´the empty breath´ feel like?.

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You feel free and feathery when not altering or rejecting something in the perception of yourself to shape the image of you into something special because that feels heavy and tiresome. It takes so much time and effort to invent a special image from which selected experiences are eliminated or changed, so you appear to be absent of power strivings, selfishness, greed, anger, negative thoughts or whatever you assume to be politically incorrect.

In a world of duality, negativity is as important as negativity. An electrical wire, for example, cannot produce energy without the negative pole.

Since everything in a world of duality comes in pairs and the special self excludes the apparently dark side of those in its perception of itself and thus how it experiences the world, the energy of duality is not expressed but suppressed. And even though the special self never feels it has enough energy and, therefore, would like to let go of its control, it holds back because it is afraid that it is going to be devoured by darkness if it does so.

And it is in the right about this. The uncontrolled energy of suppressed feelings ignites a take-off to the empty breath,* where the self disappears into the nothingness from where it seemed to have arisen. Thus all that is left is the bliss of emptiness.

This, however, does not last for more than 20 minutes, 45 at most. Then you return to the consciousness of being someone in a world of duality with the slate wiped clean and thus no misperception of yourself. Since negativity and positivity, therefore, are perceived to be two sides of the same coin, feeling negative is a positive experience.

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In a state of not-knowing,* there is no sense of separation or union, as they are concepts based on the belief in separation. There is nothing but the bliss of that comes from not judging the apparent differences to make a difference. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Entering a state of not-knowing* is like falling down into the body. Not in the sense that you become more physical or that higher frequencies are fused with it. You do not become more of anything, nor do you integrate something, because falling down in the body you grasp it is nothing and that the experience of it as something substantial in a tangible world is a fantasy, including the one who believes to be experiencing it. This is not sensed, however, while in a state of not-knowing,* because in this state there is nobody to be aware of this, nor how blissful it is to not be conscious of something specific.

Hence everything said in Alexius´ Enlightened Non-Teachings about a state of not-knowing* is based on the memories that pop up after Alexius has returned to the consciousness of being someone definitive. And although a state of not-knowing* is impersonal, the memories of it are not, so his memories may be different from yours. Just like two persons drinking the same tea may describe it in each their own way, although the tea is the same.

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It is not possible to return to that which is one. Nor is it possible to leave it, as it is formless and, therefore, inseparable.

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A state of not-knowing* does not reveal that which is one, but that a world where there seems to be more than one is nothing. The result of this revelation is not that you choose to return to that which is one because that requires more than one but that you come back from a state of not-knowing* to the consciousness of being someone in a world where there seems to be more than one as a basic self.

Being a basic self, you sooner or later are so happy that you forget to choose and since not choosing does not require more than one, the enlightenment of that which is one is bid welcome. See hack #5-7.1 From the inner senses through a black hole into that which is one.

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The application of one or more of the duality hacks does not produce anything but the bliss of nothing. That is if you do not catch onto something special, because that brings about depression.

Since it takes more than one to be in any state, the above does not apply to the enlightenment of that which is one (hack #5-7.1 From the inner senses through a black hole into that which is one). It does not entail bliss or anything else that requires more than one.

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The moment you stop relating, you go into a state of not-knowing. You stop relating when you do not care about what and where you appear to be because then no relation is needed to establish you as someone definitive.

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The transition to a state of not-knowing, which can last from a split second to several days, may not seem pleasant. The brain tries to distract you from leaving its definable world by producing very tangible and disturbing experiences, as if ants crawl on your body, for instance, so that you feel attacked and thus to be someone definitive. See also If included irritation undoes the belief in duality.

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The special self always looks for something to do right, so it does not feel wrong. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Returning from a state of not-knowing* to the conscious experience of being a basic self you probably feel so entertained that you forget the bliss of not being aware, and when you finally remember you may feel guilty having forgotten it. No worries. Feeling guilty is also entertaining. Besides, not trying to get rid of it, the uncontrolled energy can be used to ignite a take-off to the empty breath,* that takes you back to the nothingness the experience of guilt is produced from.

Since it took the brain one second to create this experience of something from out of nothing, the empty breath* takes you back one second in linear time. Thus you are in the gap, the brain perceives to be between nothing and oneness and, therefore, in the bliss of not perceiving the experiences of the brain as something, nor yourself until you again return to the conscious experience of being a basic self. This time, however, you may remember what and where you believe to be is nothing and that this includes feeling guilty.

But probably not. Most likely, you go back and forth between a state of not-knowing* and the consciousness of being someone definitive many times before you get to this point. And the latter may have contained much unrest or days where you hardly could keep awake. No problem. Time is nothing.

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In the apparent transition from something to nothing, it may feel like being in a cage that cannot be escaped. Not because there is a cage. But what you believed to be is not disguised as something anymore. Instead, it is exposed as the nothingness it always has been. As the feeling of claustrophobia, therefore, cannot be hidden it is also exposed as nothing and so is any other feeling until there are no feelings at all, only that which cannot be felt, namely that which always was and will be since it is endless, namely the formlessness of oneness.


*) Read about the empty breath and a state of not-knowing in the next articles or the below hacks

All duality hacks, except the enlightenment of that which is one, brings about a state of not-knowing so you can pick any one or more if you like to undo the belief in duality. However, HACK #3, Not being exclusive but inclusive is freedom from being someone definitive probably is the hack that the most about a state of not-knowing.


NOTE: This article is part of hack #4.3 To be a basic self is to be good enough, which is still in the process of being written.

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  1. […] a take-off to the empty breath, because it only takes one second for it to wipe the slate clean (read more about that here) and restore you as the basic self. For this to work, you do not have to understand the exposed […]

  2. […] energy for a take-off to the empty breath, as it only takes it one second to wipe the slate clean (read more about that here), so you are restored as the basic self, which feels as if you are renewed. You do not even have to […]