CANCELLEX You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 3


During childhood we learned to alter our emotions, so we could please our parents by expressing the specific feelings they expected us to have. Read more about pleasing your paretnts here. But everything comes in pairs in a world of duality. Hence feelings never manifests in a specific but a dualistic way. Not trying to change this twofoldness, you feel satisfied by the interaction of love and hate. But you feel depressed if you separate them from each other to get a singular expression of either love or hate. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This article is a continuation of You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 2. Hence it is about the perception ´it is what it is,´ which reveals every experience is dual. This is is so amusing that, eventuality, you forget about duality.

In other words, going with the duality flow, the belief in duality will be undone.

We learned to alter our emotions during childhood, so we seemed to feel them in the specific way others had defined them.

Alexius is still in the process of exploring how to communicate this hack. Hence, you might be better off reading about another one. But you are, of course, welcome to take your chances.

Nobody is perfect, so even if you generally speaking rest in the basic self, you may at times feel attracted to be something more unique. Being a special self, you appear to have so many exciting emotions that make you feel exceptional. However, feelings come in pairs, so you cannot feel extraordinary without feeling average as well unless you suppress this polarity by excluding feeling average. By doing that, you appear to have a single-minded feeling wherefore, you can state ´I know what it is,´* instead of ´it is what it is.´* 

This would not be a problem if not changing the perception of the basic self. It perceives whatever you feel as ´it is what it is.´* Hence the apparently different ways of feeling yourself make no difference. But as the special self perceives everything as ´I know what it is,´* it is imperative to hide feelings of weakness and thus appearing to know it is perfect.

What a relief not having to achieve a specific mood to keep your suppressed in the dark.

What a relief not trying to achieve a mood that never remains long enough to escape the feeling of hell.

Unwanted psychological feelings have often been hidden in the experience of a wounded part of the body. Alexius, for example, has a basic design fault in his spine. While writing this hack, he realised lots of psychological stuff had been unloaded there. Ideally speaking, he should have separated the psychological feelings from the physical ones, but he could not do that. It felt like he would end in hell.

Fortunately, he could include the feeling of hell by perceiving it as ´it is what it is.´* Not just like that, though, but after days of trying to avoid it by looking for a setup that fitted into his conditioned image of perfection. What a relief when you do not need to hide your feeling of imperfection.

This does not mean hell has gone, but that you are not afraid of going there anymore because it is what it is.´* Thus, going down feels as entertaining as going up. In other words, one of the most frightening contrasts of duality, namely that of the darkness and light, has been cancelled out. Read more about the cancellation of contrasts here.

As already said, nobody is perfect, so you may go back and forth from the perception of the basic self to one of the special self several times a day. No problem. ´It is what it is.´*

 

PART 2
In the early childhood of Alexius, his father enjoyed playing games with him. But soon, his father lost interest in doing something together, so Alexius was left on his own. This, he assumed, was because he was not lovable. Thus his love for his father turned into hatred. To justify this change, he looked for something in his father he could judge as evil. Since this, psychological speaking, was an attack on his father, Alexius expected him to retaliate. Hence he looked for something that seemed to confirm this, which was easy because his father every now and then burst out in rage and hit him across the dinner table.

Since Alexius was a kid and unable to physically defend himself, and his father often got angry because of something he had said, Alexius started using silence as a defence from being attacked. The silence was loaded with aggressivity, but Alexius hid it from his awareness as an emotion coming from himself by projecting it onto his father. In that sense, they were the same. They both used each other as a scapegoat for their own aggressivity. But whereas Alexius´ father attacked him physically, Alexius attacked his father psychologically.

On top of that, Alexius tried to look like a victim by acting sad and getting sick to make his father feel guilty for the way he treated him (read more about making others feel guilty here). He failed in that but in hiding his wish for revenge from his consciousness by dumping it in the darkness of the stomach. And then he unconsciously tightened the shoulders to hinder the breath in fully extracting and contracting the body and thus stopping the free flow of physical info from the body to the brain, which he, therefore, could replace with mental ideas of his choice.

Let us return to nowadays to see what happens when you project something on the body. When Alexius´ cat, Guinevere, lies in his lap, he projects a good feeling on this part of his body because he loves Guinevere. Thus it is like the pressure of her body makes his body relax. But if a rat, for example, that he hates, lies in the same place on his lap, its pressure would not relax his body. On the contrary.

However, neither the good nor the bad feeling is in the body. It is in the mental sphere where it is conceived due to what we have conditioned ourselves to perceive as pleasing and horrible. So if you want to remove the awful feeling you have projected on the body treating it with something, regardless you perceive it to be mundane or spiritual, does not help because the problem is not there but in the combo of immaterial and material feelings, that needs to be untangled so they can be dealt with on each their own term.

Twofoldness undoes the separation of one-pointedness

Our present perception of the world is often based on one we made early in our life. Alexius, for example, was a sensitive child who quickly generated fear. To disassociate himself from his fear, he looked for flaws in others so he could justify perceiving them as horrible and, therefore, to be the ones making the fear.

Initially, it was his father he used as a means to separate himself from his own fear by perceiving everything his dad did as horrifying. Later on, Alexius used many others as a scapegoat to eliminate his fear from his awareness and thus feel free and in control. Especially because he also managed to hide his affectionate feelings from his consciousness by attributing them to something outside of himself, which he decided to see as wonderful.

Alexius grew up in a war zone, in the sense that his father would hit him suddenly. His mother did nothing to stop it, so he felt terrified and completely alone. In an attempt to disassociate himself from the feelings of horror, Alexius decided to see his father as evil. Doing that, he also separated himself from being lovely because that is defined by evil. Thus he looked for something beautiful outside of himself. Mainly, however, he judged what he saw as horrible. The reason for this, Alexius finally realised, was that something inside of himself he interpreted as evil. Fortunately, this revealed he was also lovely because, without it, there would be nothing to define something to be evil inside him. This polarity, and those that naturally followed, made him feel complete. Hence there was no fear of feeling evil and thus no need to hide it by making others look horrible. Consequently, the apparent difference between himself and the world he used to judge as either horrific or beautiful stopped making a difference. Maybe that is why he writes Alexius´ Duality Hacks. He does not know. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

This seemed to work great, except when Alexius felt so bothered by something that his suppressed fear popped up, and, in desperation, he burst out in anger.

This seemed to work great, except when Alexius felt so bothered by something that his suppressed fear showed its face, and he exploded in verbal attacks on others. Although there was no physical violence, his outbursts seemed as wild as when his father lost his temper in Alexius´ childhood and hit him across the dinner table or whatnot. Feeling ashamed of being like his father, who Alexius perceived to be the devil responsible for the evil in him, Alexius right away hid feeling demonic from his awareness by projecting it onto vulnerable parts of his body.

aggression- darkness – hostility and hatred – his destructiveness – toxic – aggressive vicious – destructive – wicked – wicked

Since the description of Alexius childhood in this article is a rationalisation, and he is not a psychologist, it may not be entirely correct. Therefore, please look at it as samples of how we tend to lock away events in a box and imagine burying that in the body.

Alexius is not a physician but seen in retrospect, it seems he used the physical problems that arose from his birth defect in one of the vertebrae to disguise his aggression and events that appeared to have caused it in his childhood. As the malfunctioning vertebra pressed on a nerve going to the stomach, it was easy for him to use his bloated stomach as a hiding place for the shame he felt for being exploited by his mother. She used him as an object to give her the bodily affection his father could not provide her.

hiding grievances in the chest/stomach

to block the actual signals from the body so they can be interpreted by yourself as attacks on you and thus justify your grievances

Due to his bloated stomach, the diaphragm hardened. Since it is the primary mover of the breath, the area in his chest became blocked. Thus it seemed obvious to project his naivety and devotion onto it, so his generosity would seem to be boxed in there and, therefore, not cause him to be preyed on in the future. But since he was not as cherished when his compassion was locked down, he concluded he could only be loved if he gave others what they want. This seemed to be an unsolvable dilemma, so instead of saying stop to others, he walked away.          as he felt it was dangerous to be himself, he imagined to hid his naivety and devotion – compassion – in his blocked chest. Being preyed on, he felt justified in closing down his gifts, which probably was for the best at that time, as otherwise he would have been completely exploited.

That being said, when you feel there is not enough air to breathe, it is in most cases as imaginative as when you are diagnosed with vertigo and experience the world to be spinning around you. It is a fantasy, and ultimately speaking, so is everything else you experience because it takes more than one to experience something, and there is no more than that which is one since it is formless and therefore endless. But since you are reading this, you believe it is possible to be and have more than that which is one. Fortunately, applying hack #4.4 The duality flow goes to non-duality, you have fun believing this while that belief is undone.

That being said, when you feel there is not enough air to breathe, it is in most cases as imaginative as when you are diagnosed with vertigo and experience the world to be spinning around you. Nothing is spinning around you, and there is sufficient air for breathing. Read more about dizziness in You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 2.

impulse to meet people´s needs were

But this also made him feel like he was not wanted, wherefore he concluded. Si

This created a dilemma.

 

the world was cruel, and it only wanted to exploit him

compassion,

The helplessness he felt from being continuously attacked by his father, he hid in the neck that had collapsed due to the malfunctioning vertebra. Since everything comes in pairs in a world of duality, the lack of energy in the neck was counteracted with intense but blocked energy in the hips, where he hid his aggression towards his father, so he could hold back the urge to kick him.

To make sure he would never be bothered by any of those feelings, he also moved up his shoulders in a tight position close to the head that blocked off any feelings from consciousness, so he instead could make a mental concept of the fear of them that did not scare him. The shoulders remained tight after he became someone who is to be compared to the enlightenment of that which is one. The fear of his own feelings is kept boxed in is released in the enlightenment of that which is one because there are no shoulders to prevent it from popping up. In the enlightenment of that which is one, this intense energy seems to be a supreme power that tries to annihilate him, so he chooses to keep up the belief in being someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. This is not to say that the body has the power to fend off the enlightenment of that which is one. But when your perception of it is believed to be real, it seems to have that power. Thus it is not when he relaxes in the shoulders that he does not return as someone but when he does not care about it because then there is nobody to annihilate. Please be aware, the enlightenment of that which is one is not of a world where there seems to be more than one, but this explanation is. Thus it may be entirely off. 

He repressed that he had chosen to imagine the body could be used as a means to hide his unwanted feelings from his consciousness. So when those emotions popped up again, he interpreted the disturbance as a physical problem from the part of the body where he initially imagined hiding his unwanted feelings. Hence the resulting psychosomatic disorders became a mystery impossible to heal. And the helpless little boy full of sorrow, rage and fear, therefore, could remain hidden in the dark inside Alexius. In hack #4.3 To be a basic self is to be good enough, you can read more about using the body as a means to hide your feelings from your awareness.

Alexius did not want to realise that it was his own shit he saw in his father, so he shut off the communication between the body and the brain, so he would not receive bad signals from himself. He did not choose this because he was a child and therefore not able to embrace the darkness but because he thought he had to be good to get love from his parents / as if he was above it. Thus what he got was not to himself but an image he had made, wherefore he complained about not being seen. And, actually, that was what he was, if he had not excluded but included the darkness in himself … by seeking out thoughts that seemed wrong and as a defence against tighten the body, so it appeared to hide the darkness

is not to say that the suppressed little boy must be exposed, but that denial should be complemented with acceptance, just like the night must be supplemented by the day because everything comes in pairs in a world of duality. Going with this flow, duality sets you free from the night as well as the day. In other words, there is no need to go down memory lane to see what you have denied if your denial interacts with acceptance.

When you do not try to hide anger, for example, your response to it can be perceived as ´it is what it is.´ This reveals that your reaction is twofold. So if anger makes you feel guilty, you are relieved because it is complemented with feeling good.

All your suppressed grievances serve you well when exposed and perceived as ´it is what it is´ because that reveals they are not singular but twofold. Hence you have an amusing polarity of complaints and contentment, which sets off other gratifying pairs of duality. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

After Alexius, in his early 20s, became someone who is to be compared to the enlightenment of that which is one (see hack #5-7.1 From the inner senses through a black hole into that which is one), his two standard perceptions of something as definitely horrible or wonderful was no longer dismantled. Instead, they worked together as a team to define and pave the way for each other, like breathing out paves the way for breathing in and vice versa.

This interaction of horrible and wonderful made him feel good about both statements. So good, actually, that other pairs of duality naturally kept popping up. Hence Alexius felt completed and not fragmented like when he used to insist on dividing the pairs of duality into separated elements. Especially because going with the duality flow, he had no singular feelings to hide. Thus he did not appear to have psychological problems concealed in the body anymore.

Since his psychosomatic problems, therefore, were reduced to physical issues, they could be fixed physically. Maybe not entirely, but at least to the extent that the experience of being someone inside a body became more comfortable. Read more about that in You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 1.

However, out of habit, one of his old single-minded judgments/perceptions are often the first choice when confronted with something new or fearful. This is probably how his personality is set up to solve a problem. Trying to change that would be like attempting to stop the sunset. It is impossible.

But it is possible to remember that, in a world of duality, everything comes in pairs of opposing elements that define each other, like two sides of a coin. Recalling that, as from an invisible crack in Alexius´ conditioned single-minded perception, the opposite unfolds. Hence twofoldness again makes him feel fulfilled as someone in the game of duality, contrary to the sense of incompleteness that comes from separating the pairs of duality.

He probably does not notice that the interaction of horrible and wonderful soon fades out because it sets off the experience of other pairs of duality. Maybe humility and boldness, serenity and lust, calmness and confusion, union and separation. This polarity flow is so satisfactory that he does not sense when one ends, and another starts. Beginning and end is just another pair of duality that makes him feel whole.

Not trying to control the future, thoughts become unimportant. Hence they turn into insignificant noise from somewhere unnamed.

The experience of being someone who is somewhere is enough to feel the completeness of twofoldness and thus forget what and where you are, which is the opening the enlightenment of that which is one waits for. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Nor does he usually remember the names of the polarities that makes him feel complete. Being in the duality flow, it does not have to be ratified via an inner talk (read more about that here). Therefore, as thoughts are reduced to unimportant jabber in the background (read more about that here), he cannot find words to describe the duality pairs he experiences. Not a problem, though. One does not need to label the sides of a coin, for example, to sense it is twofold.

In a world of duality, a holistic experience is not singular but dualistic. In non-duality there are no experiences because it takes more than one to be aware of something.

To sum up, even though the experience of being someone in a world of duality is an illusion (read more about that here), having this experience, you feel frustrated if you separate the opposing elements in the pairs of opposing elements making up duality. And you feel satisfied when you join their interplay – just like you feel fulfilled from the interaction of breathing in and out if you do not try to fragment this pair of duality into specific segments to be relaxed, balanced, transformed and whatnot.

To feel fulfilled by the pairs of duality, you do not need to discover where you have stashed unwanted feelings in the body like described above. Nor do that have to become someone who is to be compared to the enlightenment of that which is one. And you do not have to get rid of single-minded perceptions or anything else through meditation and whatnot. All you need is to perceive your single-minded interpretation of the present moment as ´it is what it is.´ This reveals the other side of your postulate. Thus you get the interplay of polarity – for example unbelievable/plausible.

As the present moment is based on your past, this perception reveals your postulate’s other side. Thus you get the interplay of polarity – for example unbelievable/plausible.

Therefore, since opposing thoughts or feelings are not kept apart, there is no single-minded perception to project onto somebody else or your own body. Thus others, as well as yourself, are set free from your rigid opinions. Read more about that in You undo the belief in duality by enjoying it, Part 4.


This is a simulation of the moment where the enlightenment of that which is one is experienced to break through whereafter all experiences, including what you believed in being, is erased. Hence there is nobody to know that nothing falls through a black hole into everything. Read more about that here. Photo © Alexius Jorgensen.

Bidding welcome the enlightenment of that which is one is a bit like gettng to the point of orgasm. Nothing else matters. But whereas an orgasm is driven by the desire for something, the absence of it is the propellant of the enlightenment of that which is one.

This does not mean, you have to to become purer by avoiding sex or anything else, nor do you have to be harmonious, physically fit or breathe in a special way. All that is needed is to forget what and where you are because the enlightenment of that which is one does not know anything definable.

For the same reason, the enlightenment of that which is one has not changed what you appear to be, if you return to the fantasy of being someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. In the case of Alexius, for example, his psychomatic disorders were unaltered.

But since he keeps getting glimpses of the enlightenment of that which is one, he is always reminded, that he is not someone in a world where there seems to be more than one. It is like being in a roleplay, where one act out a role in a story governed by the gamemaster. However, in the case of a world where there seems to be more than one, the gamemaster is not somebody outsidebut inside of him, namely the brain.

Playing the brain´s game, the perception ´it is what it is´ comes naturally. As your interpretation of past events, therefore, lose their specific meaning, there is not something definitive to maintain psychomatic disorders – or to make you feel stuck in in the plot of the brain.

See hack #4.1 The basic self versus the special one about the brain´s script. And check HACK #6, Inner senses, enlightenment and glimpses of it about the enlightenment of that which is one or glimpses of it. The latter is experienced in a world of duality, whereas there is nobody to experience the former, since that requires more than one. That is why, although glimpses of enlightenment is a mystical experience, there is no magic to experience in the enlightenment of that which is one.


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